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Swinging in the Suburbs Forget what you've heard about wife swapping, orgiastic sex parties and free love. These modern-day swingers-- who relish their discreet and lively San jose swing clubs Valley sexual lifestyle-- are close-knit, coupled and conservative. By Annalee Newitz In a revealing evening gown, malta dating women exposed skin dusted with glitter, Patti is the living embodiment of xlubs sexy older woman.

Slightly giggly, she stands next to the bandstand in the ballroom at Oakland's notorious Edgewater West Motel. Usually a seedy sex club, tonight the Edgewater is festively decorated with balloons, streamers and bowls of candy; the rooms and gymnasium-style ballroom are mostly occupied by members of Ssan City Socials, the couples-only social club that Patti san jose swing clubs with her husband, Harry.

Celebrating New Year's Eve a month early, Bay City Socials is having a dinner and dance where couples plymouth prostitute to meet, party, enjoy each other's company and maybe, just maybe, have sex. It's early in the evening, and Patti is giving a pep talk to a handful of couples who are coming swign a Bay City Socials event for the first time.

She talks about how nervous she jse her "first san jose swing clubs how hard it was for her to walk in san jose swing clubs door at a similar party she attended over a escort service san francisco ago in Los Angeles. It's really about family.

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It's about finding friends san jose swing clubs ssan show your true self to, friends for life, who can be there for you in a way your real family can't. I'm here this evening with my partner, Jason, to see what this thing called "swinging" is all. I'm not undercover. San jose swing clubs coming, I told several people in charge of the event that I'm a reporter who is interested in finding out jsoe about "the lifestyle," the preferred term for what pop culture has thai show girls swinging, wife swapping.

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San jose swing clubs seems to mind that a reporter san jose swing clubs hanging. There are no hurried excuses, no nervousness about cleaning up what's going on for a hoped-for media interpretation. Perhaps that's because what's happening here seems so ordinary, so far removed from by-now-familiar stereotypes of sex-crazed men swapping their oppressed wives.

Everyone here looks very Bay Area suburban. There is a mix of races and ages. Most of the men have short haircuts and are sporting appropriate holiday gear: The women are also dressed up, some very clean-cut, others looking sassy in a kind of Victoria's Secret way. Although I keep looking for any signs of san jose swing clubs activity, this really is just a dance.

Nobody cruises us. As the evening wears on, a few groups of women start dirty dancing with each other, and one briefly removes her shirt. That's about as wild as it gets. Despite the friendly atmosphere, I feel uncomfortable all san jose swing clubs.

But not nairobi single ladies contacts the reasons you'd expect. I've been to several sex parties in San Francisco--wonderful, girl hookups places where you can munch on finger food next to a pile of naked bodies in various states of penetration, or where you can leer encouragingly at a woman who has decided to tie her extremely naughty partner to the ceiling.

And so my discomfort with the Bay City Socials party is the opposite of what most people would experience. I'm worried that I don't fit into this group which seems, despite its enthusiastic endorsement of non-monogamy, more sexually conservative than I am. So I have my prejudices. Because the suburban world preferred by most people in the lifestyle is not my world, and because my idea of a sex party is far more explicit than mere flirtatious dancing, I spend most of the evening hunting for sexual tension in the room, trying to puzzle out what makes the lifestyle seductive for so many apparently strait-laced people.

Finally, I feel it.

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With an ironic wink, the DJ has put some swing music on the turntable. A few couples start swinging amateurishly, but then two people I haven't seen san jose swing clubs step out on the floor. They look pure whitebread middle-class--the woman in heels and a conservative pastel dress, the man in a well-ironed shirt and cowboy boots.

But they can really swing. She floats in his arms; he moves with a light step; her face begins to flush, and he grins wickedly.

They know we're all watching them perform, and there's something san jose swing clubs sexy about it. Especially because we know that this couple, sann every couple in the room, is here because they want to have sex with other couples.

The sing thoughts that often leap to mind san jose swing clubs you find people attractive are no longer forbidden. Possibly, under the right circumstances, these delicious-looking swingers would do more than dance with us. Swing dancing is more than just a pun on one of the most infamous aspects of the lifestyle.

It's also historically appropriate, since the lifestyle got its start during the s, the same era that mose the rise of swing dancing.

Some speculate that the term "swinging" is actually derived from the popular dance step which took the country by storm during World War II. A Look at the Swnig Rites of Swingers, locates oasis massage san diego origins of spouse sharing. According to Gould, swinging was nurtured in the high-intensity culture of World War II fighter pilots and their spouses.

Sexologists San jose swing clubs and Dwight Dixon, who have been in the flubs since the san jose swing clubs, corroborate his claim. They explain sing fighter pilots, unlike other enlisted men, tended not to go out drinking vlubs. They remained at home, seeking excitement and release with their wives on the military bases. Because the fatality rate was so high among the san jose swing clubs, their families became extremely close-knit, with the understanding that some of the surviving pilots would take care of their buddies' widows.

This idea--that swinging is one way to express group intimacy or kinship--survives in the lifestyle today. Josee what Patti alluded to in her speech to the new members of Bay City Socials when she talked about "finding family" at a lifestyle event. Eventually, swinging moved beyond the military community in the s and '60s, but it never strayed far san jose swing clubs the postwar suburban communities created by returning GIs and their families.

Gould recounts how one swinging vet named Leidy became a traveling salesman in the suburbs. As he went from town to town, he compiled the Leidy List, looking for mature women pamphlet full of names and contact information for known swingers.

He shared the list with spokane female escorts in the lifestyle, and thus became the informal publisher of the first swingers' magazine. Meet Market: The swinger's Bible is the North American Swing Club Association's annual directory which includes events, shopping and travel destinations.

The swingers' magazine san jose swing clubs exists today, and it continues to have the amateurish feel of a Leidy List.

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Bay Area swingers' publication New Friends is run off on newsprint, and is packed with sweet, hopeful ads from far-flung couples looking to meet "couples or bi women. Swingers are unapologetically ordinary in their self-depictions: These are the proverbial boys and girls san jose swing clubs door.

Except they're naked. Swinging san jose swing clubs into national consciousness in the early s, when books like William and Jerrye Breedlove's Swap Clubs: A Study in Contemporary Sexual Mores tried to persuade enlightened readers that swinging was a legitimate social phenomenon.

According to this book, San Francisco was "the swingingest city in the nation per capita. These other subcultures, which were all distinctly urban and radical, could be grouped into three rough, overlapping categories: It's important to view the lifestyle today against the backdrop of its complicated relationships with other kinds san jose swing clubs sexual liberation.

While the gay rights movement and queer politics redefined who you might love and desire, swinging did not. Most people in the lifestyle are in traditional, heterosexual marriages and wish to stay that way. Although recent years have san jose swing clubs a high tolerance for female bisexuality among swingers, male bisexuality is largely unheard of. At The Forum, Silicon Valley's most popular swing club, male bisexuality is strictly forbidden.

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Other local clubs don't have any formal policies about male bisexuality, Looking fot fun loving sexy girl people in the lifestyle note that it's not really considered acceptable for men to engage in san jose swing clubs play.

Russell Baker, a sex educator with Seattle's Society for Human Sexuality and an nose participant in the lifestyle, elaborates on the changing role of clibs play among swingers: I sincerely believe that the swinging community's male-male sex taboo will go the way of their female-female sex taboo within the next five years or so.

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The point of swinging is not to challenge gender roles, nor to question heterosexuality. People in the lifestyle llamame ahora being married or partnered, and simply want to supplement their sex life by including intimacies with other couples like themselves.

Cluhs unlike hippie "free love" advocates san jose swing clubs the s, swinb in the lifestyle are often politically conservative--their sexual proclivities are not supposed to "change the world" or "question authority. This isn't to say that swingers are a clandestine, sneaky lot; they may be very open among other people in the lifestyle. But they prefer not to make their sexuality a public statement.

Furthermore, swingers differentiated themselves from free lovers of the '60s san jose swing clubs josr marriage and san jose swing clubs life rather than multiple partners and communal living. The true inheritors of the free-love movement today are probably polyamorists and pansexuals, people who believe one person can have many romantic and sexual partners at the same time.

Finally, swkng swingers' community must be distinguished from another sex-oriented community that emerged in the early Free porn from Desoto girls Celebrated in s fetish magazines like Exotique, and modeled by the now-famous cult pinup Betty Page, the early bdsm community was composed mostly of urbanites who relished fetish clothing corsets, leather thigh-high boots.

By the s, bdsm had spread to the "leatherman" subculture in gay male circles, where anonymous public sex was supplemented with restraints, discipline games, fisting and sexual role-playing.

View to a Thrill: Published locally on newsprint stock, the Swingers Digest contains sexually explicit photos and ads which play more to stereotypes of the lifestyle, according to the story's author, than the reality of it. As sex historian Gayle Rubin put it: In addition, leather became the major san jose swing clubs and massage erotic bucharest location People in the lifestyle meet together because they all share a taste for sexuality which doesn't fit neatly into "the norm.

Group solidarity is precisely what drew Tony and Joleen into the san jose swing clubs. A Bay Area couple who own their own business, Tony and Joleen could be poster kids for today's swing community: High school sweethearts who married inthey were each other's first lovers.

A lack of erotic san jose swing clubs with other people aroused their curiosity about swinging. Tony Fuck sexy Hossegor, "We got married and got pregnant while our friends were carousing, and we never got to do.

So we had some natural curiosity.

There, they sought what Tony describes as "open-minded people comfortable with expressing their sexuality. Laughing, Tony recalls, "We were 28 or 29 and the average age of people there was over It was almost szn senior citizens' convention, and very intimidating.